To the Depths
by Anjelle
Summary: Sometimes we're lonely. It happens to us all - those instances when we feel like we're really, truly alone. It doesn't matter if our friends are there with us. It doesn't matter if we're surrounded by people. It just hurts. When Ace's unrelenting sorrow becomes too much, he wonders who would care if he took that step.


"Shit."

He stared out at the blackened sky, watching the drizzle of rain as it pattered against the glass window. Turning back to the interior of the club, he sighed. Thatch, as per the norm, was still manning the bar. His shift would likely go until four in the morning, but Ace didn't care to wait up that long. Marco was still seated beside him, half-empty glass in hand, smiling as he listened to one of the redhead's ridiculous tales.

A slight smile graced his lips as his mind wandered. He didn't want to say anything—to ruin their fun.

"Something wrong yoi?" that mature, familiar voice questioned.

He snapped back to the present, noticing his two friends staring, their brows knitted with concern. It was his fault they were worried. He hated that. So, widening his grin, he shook his head. "Nah, just thinking about something," the youth assured.

Something lingered in Marco's gaze but the man said not a word, returning to whatever he was conversing about with the bartender. Ace continued to watch, to smile and laugh with them, but it never quite reached his eyes. He hoped that they wouldn't notice; every time they worried, he felt guilty—burdening. They were his closest friends. He didn't want that.

They deserved better.

As the hours faded, his bill increasing, he found himself deep in thought. It was never just one thing—multiple subjects at once, muddled together in a confusing, nonsensical mess. He couldn't focus. Normally he'd blame the alcohol, but it wasn't taking much effect.

He retired when Marco did, leaving the bartender to pout about how lonely he would be. Ace mouthed a short apology before following the blond out. His friend lived in the area so home was a short walk away. Ace did not, but… he didn't feel like going home anyways. If he could help it, he'd never go home.

"You sure you're alright?" Marco inquired, once more bringing him back to reality.

The freckled man nodded and smiled his brightest. "I'm fine," he assured, "really!"

Again that look lingered, but the blond didn't press any further. They stared out from under the awning at the unrelenting downpour. The pavement flooded, sending cars skidding down the road and a careless driver through a red light. Sirens sang across the wind, disturbing the music seeping from the bar. Flashing lights beat harshly against their eyes.

"It's pretty bad yoi," the older stated, scratching his head. "Want to stay at my place 'til it lets up?"

Ace shook his head. "Thanks, but I'll be alright. It's gotta stop sometime."

"Alright," Marco replied, though hesitant. "Call me tomorrow, okay?"

For a moment, he thought about not answering. For just a brief instance he considered telling the man that he couldn't. Instead, his smile only faltered slightly before he gave an energetic nod. "I will!"

Satisfied, the blond ruffled his hair, leaving it an unruly mess as he walked out into the rain. Ace pulled his mouth taut, watching as he disappeared into the smog. Then, having lost sight of the older man, he started off in the other direction.

Not wanting to go home, he thought about wandering the streets a little longer. The downtown area was bustling with life as always, music chorusing out of clubs and all-night restaurants. Students roamed in clusters, loudly chatting about whatever their drunken minds could think of, waddling unevenly down the sidewalk. One girl stopped abruptly, emptying the contents of her stomach onto one of her unfortunate companions.

All-the-while, Ace walked.

Eventually he found himself at the river, staring out at the rock shore. The rain subsided to a light drizzle but by then his clothes were drenched. He didn't notice, though. His mind was too busy stirring, reeling. It hurt. Just like every time before, he said not a word, bearing with it on his own. He didn't want to be a burden. He didn't want to pester them with his problems. They had things to worry about, too, didn't they? It wasn't just him. It wasn't…

The days, the weeks, they kept wearing him down. Heavier and heavier he felt, like if he sat down he would never rise again.

At some point, he found himself atop a tall, jagged rock overlooking the murky depths. An estranged thought occurred to him in that moment: they call it a river, yet it's actually a straight, separating the lakes. He couldn't help the jaded chuckle that passed his lips. Why then, of all times, did he think of that?

Keeping it bottled up was getting harder. He felt like screaming—yelling and crying until his throat turned raw and bloody. Still, his lips remained sealed. It scared him.

The quiet of the waves was getting to him. Gritting his teeth, he dug into his pants pocket, retrieving his cellphone, dialing the first number in his contacts. It rang and rang, painfully so, stretching out into eternity. Then, _click._ His heart rate doubled, body tingling with an odd, uneasy sensation. Licking his lips, swallowing the lump in his throat, he took a breath.

_"Hi!"_

He felt warm—so, _so _warm. "Lu—"

_"I'm not here right now so leave a message, 'kay? Shishishi!"_

His eyes widened, blood freezing in his veins. Then, as he heard the beep, his arm dropped to his side. Broken, cynical laughter broke the silence. _Of course. Why did I even think…?_

Grip loosening, the phone slipped from his fingers. Ace only noticed when he heard the splash of it hitting the water's surface. He looked down at the large, vast body of water, anxious trembling erupting in his arms and legs. He grabbed his opposing wrist in a fruitless attempt to settle the tremors. "Ah," he noised quietly, "it fell."

The youth's lip quivered. He could feel the sting of tears behind his eyes, threatening to burst. Shifting his weight, he watched as a few small pebbles slipped off the edge, plunging into the water. They were gone, just like that, never to be seen again.

Never to be found.

Sweeping his hand across his forehead, through his matted, black strands, he allowed a strangled cry to escape him. Then, he wondered why he was holding back. No one was there to hear him cry. No one was there to watch or listen. If he were to disappear—

He swallowed again, trying to keep bile from escaping his throat.

…If he were to disappear, would it matter?

He looked up. The rain was gone, the clouds passing across the city, giving view to the night sky. A few tiny, insignificant stars made it through the light pollution well enough to be seen. There was no moon that night, so they were all that was left.

Taking one last, deep breath, filling his lungs until they swelled with oxygen, he took it all in. Then, exhaling, he took a step.

Nothing beneath his feet.

* * *

**A/N: So this is a lot different from what I usually do. I guess you could say it's loosely based off of a true story. On Thanksgiving day, a girl from my university went missing downtown near the river. No one knew where she went after her and her friends went their separate ways and, recently, a body was found in the river. Needless to say, it was hers - no foul play, so it was deemed a suicide. Some of you, who I talk to regularly, know that it's pretty common in my city for bodies to float to the surface. But that doesn't make it any less tragic. Still, it's not an uncommon story so why write this? Well, what really got to me was that only one person bothered looking for her. Her family didn't file a missing person's report, nor did they try to find out what happened. Only one man did, just one of her friends. That's sad. That's really, really sad.**

**"How did she feel that night? What was going through her head?" -That's where this story stemmed from.**

**So sorry for the depressing mood, I just felt that I NEEDED to write this. The story really hit home and I needed to get it out of my head and off my chest. Despite how dark it was, I hope it was a good read. I hope it had some sort of impact. I might do a sequel to this from a different perspective, to show the aftermath of Ace's death, but I'm not sure. It's funny how we authors write about tragedy all of the time but it never has quite the same impact as it does when it's staring you in the face in reality.**

**Anyways, thanks for reading and I hope you have a good night. Your homework for today: tell someone you care about how important they are to you. All it takes is a few words to give a life meaning.**

**...Sorry for the cheesy lines. I'm hopeless, I know.**

**Adieu~**


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